life is amazing but the world is bullshit
alwaysmjay
alwaysmjay
A Letter to Anonymous (I don’t like to remember your name, seriously) 

I dont believe in a romantic love. Im not a fan of relationship. I have no idea of loving someone until the day I met you.

My memories are still raw on the first time I saw you, I was stunned with your eyes and your smile, its like I am hypnotized but that time I didnt realized that I already liked you, I am so stupid of disbelieving the sincerity when it comes to love. I hardly trust anyone. I am so afraid of disappointment and rejection that most of the people will tell me if I ask them what are the consequences of loving someone. I dont like that feeling, I am vulnerable, sensitive and too emotional to handle those things.

I had a great experience meeting you, its like opening a new chapter in my boring and monochromatic life. You put color on my plain perspective of life by encouraging me to live carefree and worry less. I dont agree with u before since I strongly opposed every words u said, we have a contrast belief and I thought its very impossible to like you.

I remember the day u called my name asking me to be your partner, its the first time someone picked me to be with them even on that simple thing we did. Yeah, for you, its a simple thing which has no meaning but for me its a part of my everything, a part that completes my life like I finally found someone that can fit to the hole in my cold heart.

Everyday my feelings grew stronger I always wanting to see ur face and I am hoping that time will run faster so that I can see you again. Im avoiding myself of not falling for you but I cant help myself, I cannot simply ignore these weird feelings. True indeed that love is inevitable.

I cherish every moments that I am talking to you, saying ‘hi’ to you, touching your hands, looking at your face when you are looking at something and when youre whispering in my ears, running your fingers into the strands of my hair and our hands intertwined. I dont know where to store so many good memories with you.

But I know every thing has its own ends and limitation, my worst fear happened, I felt like my world tore apart. You became cold, unenthusiastic and lost your interests with me, Its like everything we talked abouy never exists, I am so naked telling everything to you, my fears, my weakness and my dreams, I came to realize that I chose a wrong person to rely everything that I have. It hurts to see your eyes looking at someone, your hands holding someone and your heart beats to someone. I am so devastated knowing the fact you simply lost everything. Even if u didnt told me you loved me too, even if you didnt say any words, I hate to think that u made me feel that everything that I thought was real. Love was an illusion and I expected too much, you cant blame me because u made me expect even if your words doesnt agree with your actions.

'Time will heal' some people will say so I am wishing that time will run faster again not because I want to see you again but to forget everything that happened between us. If you simply threw it like a trash, even though its hard for me, yeah, I will, I will throw it momentarily. Every single pieces of my memory is detailed, even some of them makes me feel happy, I will sacrifice those things to make me completely healed. Diversion, that would help the process, but Im not gonna find “someone” to make me happy, Im gonna find “something” that can truly made me feel the bliss and contentment.

Love is like a flower, it withers and it dies.

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"I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody."

  - Holden Caulfield
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Enjoy life! 

Sabi nila, kung di mo pa time, di ka talaga mamatay, pero di ako naniniwala, kasi anytime pwede ka magpakamatay, kaso dito pumapasok si Psychology, Its inherent for us, humans or other living creatures to focus on self preservation. Kaya I dont believe on fate or destiny. Yung mga mangyayari bukas is a sum of the consequences and choices we made each day. Kung mamatay ka bukas, dahil yan sa maraming factors (health, environment etc. ) hindi yung natripan lang ng kung sino na kunin ka sa araw na yun.

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So my friend sent me this photo on facebook. I read and thought carefully the lesson na gustong maiparating ng activity. Sabi,

"Our Happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life"

Well I must admit this is entirely true and Im grateful there is no religious intervention going on. Nasagot na kahit papaano yung bagay na gumugulo sa utak ko about our main purpose in life, giving love and happiness to other people and at the same time, making yourself happy as well. But one point is, Being happy doesnt mean you have to get and being treated the same way kunwari, you like/love someone, it doesnt necessary na dapat magustuhan ka rin nya o kaya mahalin ka rin nya, tinuro yan sa simbahan kahit di naman ako relihiyoso, yung pinaka highest form of love, Sacrifice. The way you love other people around you selflessly and unconditionally, (di porque sacrifice kelangan mamatay ka para maramdaman o maiparating mo yung pagmamahal mo sa ibang tao. ) I also living in a quote, “Dont do to others what you dont want others do onto you” Wala ng kung ano pang bagay, if we are able to do that, maybe we can die peacefully.

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♪♪ Two Way Monologue ♪
#nowplaying @sondrelerche

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I love you Taylor to the moon and back. #vma2014

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OK, almost there. Wala ng tinta yung ballpen. Next time n lng ulit. Wala pa ako pambili. #DanRad

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Early morning habbit. Good Morning mates :-D

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How surprising that most of the greatest musicians are actually in the Indie genre. They posssess an amazing talent and artistic way of expressing music enough to convince people like me of a true value of Music. #arcticmonkey #dope #AM #alexturner

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Im gonna make more adjustment to make it more Nicholas Hoult-ish looking. Im quite improving because I just started this, this morning and Im almost halfway finished. Hurrah! Anw, Have a nc day :-)
#ballpointpen #jackthegiantslayer

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This is my first time to draw a profile artwork using ballpoint pen. #seanopry #fabercastell

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Bakit daw ba gusto kong pumunta ng London? 

Bakit nga ba? alam mo, hindi mo na nman kelngan akong bigyan ng isang minuto para pagisipan pa yan, hello London kaya yun ewan ko na lang kung sino ba ang ayaw magpunta sa England, kung sino ka man, baka di mo pa alam kung saan at ano ang London, baka sakaling makatulong oh, check mo na lang to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London

Nag umpisa lang nman ang pagpapatansya ko sa English culture eh dahil sa walang humpay at walang katapusan kong panunuod ng Harry Potta ( with british accent) simula nun, wala na, nagsimula na ang paniniwala kong ang aking kawawang soul eh napunta sa maling citizen na may maliit at payat na pangangatawan, buti na lang at hindi napunta sa ignoranteng tao. lol

pero bago matupad ang pangarap ko, kinakailangan ko munang mag ipon, sa ngayon meron na akong P2 sa piggy bank ko (wala pala akong piggy bank, glass jar lang pala) so ayun nga may savings na ako, P5 na sana kaso nabawasan ng P3, dinagdag ko sa pang load ko (hayy) binabalak ko ngang mag apply mag janitor para ba iready ko na sarili ko sa housekeeping job na aapplyan ko sa England, London, ok na sa akin kahit magkuskos lang ni inidoro, makakain lang ng fish and fries habang naglalakad sa street pavements sa London (emeghed) paka alila ako ng husto. pero syempre para hindi nman ako madaling maabuso, papalakihin ko muna biceps ko, bale 5”10 nman ang average ng mga tao sa England, di nman nalalayo sa height ko (ay malayo pala) basta atleast hindi nman 5 footer lahat, tignan nyo si Daniel Radcliffe, 1 inch lang ata ang tinangkad sa akin. 

so siguro after ng paglalakad ko sa London, didiretso ako sa London Eye, pero kelangan ko ng £29.50 para makasakay dun ilang araw ng fasting din ang £29.50 o higit kumulang, P2300 shocks, ilang kilong bigas na kaya yun. so anyway, once in a lifetime lang nman yun so talagang nasa wish list ko talaga ang pagsakay sa £29.50

Isa pang dahilan, actually walang katapusan ang dahilan ko kung bakit gusto kong pumunta ng London, England or Britain whatever eh dahil gusto kong ibreathe ang same air na bnbreathe ni Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr at sa mga namyapang sina John at George, hindi ko naman sila naabutan so hindi ako naiiyak, pero syempre nahiligan ko na rin yung music nila kaya medyo sad ng mga 3 percent ganun. *insert ‘Yesterday’ song by The Beatles* rock’n’roll

gusto ko rin makita ang modern day The Beatles descendant na si Jake Bugg

I Love History, One thing I love London is their ability to store historical artifacts kahit hindi nman originated sa kanila yung mga nakalagay sa Museum, British Museum. I wonder paanong napasa kamay ng British Government yung mga national treasures ng Egypt, Sumerian chuchu, Greek Marbles etc. kahit anupaman, ayun sige basta makapasok lang sa Museum, siguro nman libre lang pagpunta dun, pero kapag may bayad, panibagong fasting na nman.

Siguro nman makakapag ipon nman ako ng bahagya at para hindi na ako maglalakad pagpupunta ako sa mga tourist spots, balak kong bumili ng Land Rover Defender o kaya Jeep Wrangler, ang astig eh, pwede sa lumpy roads

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TV Series that always keep me preoccupied so fuck off and leave me alone. 

I made this list of some of my favorite TV Series both from U.S. and in U.K.

So prior to my addiction on UK/US TV Series, I was a fan of Korean Drama and some of my favorites are, Endless Love: Autumn Tale,To the Beautiful You, He’s Beautiful and many more and since Im getting bored easily, I switched into other mature genre that fits very well on my age *coughs*. I became interested in Drama, Psycho thriller, Action and Post Apocalyptic.

1.) The Walking Dead 

Season

Season 3 Promotional Poster

Horror | Drama

My family and I really loved this TV Series because of its suspenseful plot (uber morbid scenes and great special effects and over the top prosthetics and costumes. Thou Im not yet finish watching the whole series, Im looking forward to watch it as soon as possible.

2.) Teen Wolf

 

Season 1 Promotional Poster; Tyler Posey as Scott McCall

Teen Drama | Supernatural | Action | Romance | Horror

I got a chance to watch this series through a twitter friend who suggested me to watch this and Ive gotten into it, I finished the first season in just a week, so far I already watched all the episodes from Season 1, 2, 3A and 3B. Season 4 is still on the running on US, at  channel MTV, Mondays at 10/9c. 

3. Bates Motel

 

Season 2 Promotional Poster; Freddie Highmore as Norman Bates and Vera Farmiga as Norma Bates

Drama | Thriller | Suspense

Well, what I like about this series is that it is not stereotype melodrama, everything that is going to happen throughout the series is unpredictable. And its very lovely to see Freddie Highmore, if you look at him closer youll remember that he is the boy from the movie, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (2005) time has probably forgotten him because he never aged. Freddie’s acting is very convincing and he really internalized the character of Norman Bates who is earlier portrayed by Anthony Perkins in the film, Psycho (1960) which I already watched too. And also, I love the character of Vera Farmiga, Norma Bates, Shes a sort of manipulative yet caring mother. Vera reminds me of Kate Blanchett that happened to be one of my favorite actress.

4. Skins (Series 1 and 2)

 

Skins First Generation Casts; From Left to Right: Joe Dempsie as Chris Miles, Dev Patel as Anwar Kharral, Nicholas Hoult as Tony Stonem, Mike Bailey as Sid Jenkins, Mitch Hewer as Maxxie Oliver (fave !!), April Pearson as Michelle Richardson, Aimee Ffion Edwards as Sketch (fuck this girl), Larissa Wilson as Jal Fazer and the beautiful Hannah Murray as Cassie Ainsworth ( a thin, blonde and says ”wow” a lot)

Teen Drama | Comedy-Drama

I just recently finished the first two series. I think Im a bit fanatic to the story, its not a cliche type of TV Series, it is more daring, explicit and sexual yet youll learn how to live a true life, I mean amidst all the vices and the worldly things around the Earth, Love shall prevail after all, the love towards friends and special someone and to the family. You know, all of the bad things that happen throughout the series are the direct representation of the teen culture nowadays, and even in the past years, I dont want to be a hypocrite and deny that most of the shit that continue happening in our lives can be avoided, I think Ive learned from watching this series is the acceptance and sacrificing and thats the core values that this show really want to deliver to the audience. I think Im old enough to watch this so those who are interested to see this, make sure you are as open minded as I am and can think rationally and with equal judgement.

5. Arrow

The First Complete Season DVD cover; Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen

Superhero | Drama | Action | Mystery | Science Fiction | Serial Drama

When I bought a Harry Potter DVD Collection sa Hi-Way (alam na) the vendor (si kuya) gave me freebies including Arrow Season 1 DVD so I watched it the moment I arrived home but I didnt finish the 2 episodes so my older brother watched the Series and he kinda like it and told me what was the story all about, so I became very interested and I continued watching it until I reached Season 11. Its more of a superhero thing, Stephen Amell as Green Arrow and he’s like modern day Robin Hood, He took revenge on all his fathers colleague who have done corrupting stuff in the city actually his father is also a part of this stuffs, he confessed it to Oliver before he died in an Island blah blah.. Basta if you like a Superhero Themed Series, this one is for you.

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